The Cure for Insomnia

I think I’ve finally done it; I have the cure for insomnia! After literally decades of searching I think I can safely say there is a cure. I am not talking about drugs, chemicals, hormones, or the like. It is something far simpler and much less dangerous, and the only side effect is better health.

What, oh what could this miracle cure be? I’m so glad you asked. It’s the south Broadway Street hill, located in beautiful Peru, Indiana. Well, it is half the cure anyway.

Allow me to explain. You see ever since I was little, I remember this from age six, I have had insomnia. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work out, no matter what I eat or drink, my body just refuses to shut down until midnight to 1 o’clock am. And I always have boundless energy the next day; even when I don’t use any caffeine for weeks at a time.

Last night Keri, Morgan, and I went for a bicycle ride. Yeah, it was a trifle on the chilly side, but we did it just the same. On the way home we stopped at B&K South for some food. While we were eating I issued a challenge to Morgan.

In an effort to help her improve her physical conditioning, I came up with a diabolical plan. I told her if she could ride up the south Broadway Street hill without stopping, I would hand her a ten dollar bill. I took the bill out and showed it to her, so she knew that she could take immediate possession. There were a couple of stipulations, though.

At the bottom of the hill is a crossroad; at the top is the South Peru School. The school has a small sidewalk that extends out to Park Drive. She had to ride from the north side of the intersection to the afore mentioned sidewalk without stopping. She could pedal from either a standing or sitting position, but if she stopped the deal was off.

She wondered what would happen if she went so slowly that she tipped over and had to put her foot down. This indisputably counts as stopping, so I recommended that she not go that slowly.

Keri didn’t think she could make it herself, so she agreed to take the rear so she could watch Morgan and make sure she didn’t try to cheat. I took the lead; I told Morgan that I would ride all the way up the hill to show her that it can indeed be done.

I made it about two-thirds of the way standing, then I had to sit because my legs just wouldn’t go any more; I almost had to put MY foot down. But I did make it, then I rode back down to see how the girls were doing; I met them at about the same pint I started sitting.

Unfortunately Morgan didn’t get to the top without stopping. Keri said that she hit a certain point and she just couldn’t keep the bike moving, though she had tried with all her might. I think we may extend the ten dollar offer until she makes it.

Okay, enough about the hill, it’s only half the cure for insomnia anyway. The second part is a nice relaxing soak in a hundred and two degree hot tub. We hadn’t been in the hot tub since Keri’s surgery last month because the incisions on her leg had to heal completely.

I know that the cure is both of these things combined because I have exerted myself like that and more in the past and not fallen asleep at a decent time. I’ve done the hot tub in the past, still no sleep. I’ve done tremendous workouts followed by the hot tub, all to no avail. But I had never ridden the hill and then done the hot tub.

Last night I went to bed by 10:30 and fell asleep within about fifteen minutes. Since we are now on Mitch Daniels time, or as some in Indiana call it, ‘Daylight Savings Time,’ that’s really like 9:30 to me.

I may have to do this more often…