We Have a Stinking Cat

We have a cat living in our house. Why do we have a cat living in our house? Because I am a sucker and let Morgan have one. Keri thought we should let her have one, but I did not agree.

Anyone who knew me growing up would know that we had house cats; I grew up with cats in the house, for the most part there were more than one at any given time. I loved those cats. I would hug them and pet them and name them George. Yes, one of them was really named George.

But the last thing I wanted in my home was a stinking cat! My mom thought for the longest time that it was Keri that kept saying no, but in reality it was me; I was the hold-out.

Keri would tell me that we should just let Morgan have a cat. But I warned her. I grew up with cats in the house and even though I loved them as a child, I knew the truth about them.

Cats are dirty, hairball hacking, ill-tempered, smelly beasts who shed constantly and everywhere. They get into everything; counters, closets, on desks and dressers, on TVs, into fish tanks. You name it and the stinking cat will get into it. Don’t let me forget that they are careless too. How many things have I seen broken over the years because a cat knocked it off of somewhere the cat shouldn’t have even been.

You just can’t have anything nice with a cat in the house. But I got suckered by my girl and now we have a cat.

We’ve actually had the thing since July of 2007, I think. Keri, the neat-nick, finds herself constantly frustrated with the cat, Blossom.

It makes messes everywhere, it coughs up ugh, it gets grouchy, it smells funny, it sheds on every piece of furniture we own, it is constantly on the table and counters, it gets in the closets, it gets onto my desk and plays with my processors and other gadgets, it gets onto the dressers and onto the TV. We don’t have a fish anymore, but rest assured that if we did the cat would be after it. It has broken things too, countless things, my things.

Morgan sometimes locks the cat out of her room, because Blossom will tear her things up. Keri is constantly amazed at how fast the sweeper fills up with cat hair. We have a Dyson, so you can actually watch it fill up as you go.

These two girls act surprised that Blossom is a free-roaming disaster area, but I’m not.

And here is the worst of it. Cats are fairly long lived animals which means it will probably be around fifteen-eighteen years. It is supposed to Morgan’s cat, which we got when she was ten. Ten plus fifteen equals twenty-five. Morgan will either still be in college, or will have graduated by then, and will presumably be living somewhere on her own. Guess where the cat will live. Yep. When Morgan moves out, you know we’ll be stuck with that bleeping fur ball.

I’ve suggested using Nair on Blossom, and then we could pretend she is a Sphinx Cat, but Keri won’t go along with it. I’ve tried to move the cat outside with the dog, but Morgan wigs out.

So I guess we’re just stuck. With a cat. In the house.